The first thing you know about dating someone who’s HIV-Positive is that you’re not alone. There are thousands and thousands of successful, devoted, and supportive relationships around the world just like the one you’re about to enter. And there’s nothing to be afraid of. With this being said, and don’t worry there are no buts and ifs here, we need to bring to your attention a couple of other things.
The most important thing about HIV is that this does not define you as a person. There’s so much more to us as humans that you simply cannot reduce a person to their HIV status. Especially today, in the 21st century when treatment is so advanced and only getting better and better. This is why we mentioned that there are thousands of already loving relationships in the world.
We feel like we’re talking about this all the time but we’ll have to talk about it again here. You can have normal and satisfying sex life if you’re HIV-Positive. Remember, it’s completely safe to not only hug but also kiss your partner. And if you decide to take things to the next level, well, we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves as we’re talking about first dates here. You can always read our article Sex Tips for Mixed Couples about that.
It’s good to first start talking about something that happened today, possibly on your way to the date. Perhaps you were late because you were busy with work or there was a traffic jam. Something to establish that awkward initial contact. From then on, it would be also good to mention a couple of things about yourself. Where you grew up or what you do for a living? Just casual small talk to make the other person feel comfortable.
Once you’ve done that, we feel it’s best to be completely open about the HIV status. This is regardless if you’re positive and your date is not or vice versa. We assume that the other person already knows about this so the sooner you start this conversation, the better. It’s okay to feel nervous and awkward as these are completely normal feelings in this type of situation. You simply do not know that other person. After all, you’re on a first date.
If you were already friends with them, everything would be much easier. And this is usually how many mixed status couples meet. But we digress, it’s time for the next step and that’s to discuss your feelings about that. Both before and during the date. This will help you bond and establish a connection that many other couples won’t have for quite some time. From that moment on, things should progress as with any other date.
It’s also important to note that you should not tie in your experiences with the general population. This means that if you had one bad date, it doesn’t mean that your next one will be bad as well. Also, if you had a great time, it doesn’t mean that if you start dating again in the future, you should not expect the same outcome. The key here is honesty and understanding without any patronizing and snarky comments, that goes without saying.